Tale of Namita

Namita was going to office in a bus. She got her favourite window seat and was sunk in her thoughts. This had become her hobby now; getting lost in own thoughts. She was not like this before. She used to mingle with a group of friends and enjoy their company.

She remembered yesterday’s conversation with her mother in the evening. “Namita, we feel it’s high time now you think of getting married”. Namita said nothing on this. She remembered a lustful stare given by an unknown person in bus in the morning while going to office. “What happened Namita? Where are you lost! Did you hear what I said?” said her mother. “Mom, I am tired now. Let’s talk about it on Sunday” replied Namita. “O you, Namita’s father, at least you tell her something. Every time I open the topic of her marriage, she tries to avoid it,” said her mother. “See Vandana, let’s not force her to get married against her wish. She is not like an ordinary girl who will want to settle by getting married and have children,” Namita’s father tried to convince her mother.

It was Saturday morning. Anyone would be excited, thinking about the weekend to follow. But Namita got tense, imagining the discussion with the mother on her marriage that she may not be able to avoid on Sunday.

“What do I tell you mom! I don’t want to get married ever.” Namita was telling her mother, “I hate males. They look at me as a beautiful body to please their eyes. For them, I am not a human being; I am a thing to be enjoyed and consumed. I hate males; I hate my body that reduces me to a consumable piece.” “See Namita, listen; all men are not bad. You will be thirty now and the entire life can’t be spent alone. After we leave this world, you will need someone’s support in life. We can find a good match for you.” The same time, Namita’s father came there. “What nonsense is going on! You will not force her to get married, I had told you before. If she wants to remain unmarried the whole life, it’s her decision and you must accept it.” He said to her mother.

It was not that all the men Namita came across were bad. There were some very good male colleagues in her office. Her senior was very cooperative and supportive. But in a good lot, there would invariably be an odd piece that would cause trouble.

“Namita, let’s call it a day. It’s late evening. Otherwise I will have to drop you home,”  Vishal said to her. They were playing a badminton game which Namita was almost about to win. “Come on Vishal, you have almost lost, that’s why you want to pack up,” said Namita. “Look at the watch, Namita; it’s 7:45 PM. We usually pack up by 7:15. Arti also has left now.” “Oh my god! Let’s leave now. But this game will continue tomorrow; agreed?” “Okay, agreed,” said Vishal.

Namita usually preferred remaining alone and didn’t have too many friends, except a few close friends like Arti. Her routine included going to office every day and coming back home. Arti forced her to join a badminton club nearby her office, just to bring some relaxation to her, as Namita was also advised by a doctor to do a sport regularly for fitness. Arti also would accompany her, so there was no question of going alone late in evenings. This is where Namita met Vishal, who would also come there regularly.

Vishal was a decently educated man of thirty three years and had a very good job in the same area where Namita was working. He was a candid, yet modest person who would not try to impress someone to show his superiority. Due to his sincere and down-to-earth approach, Namita got along with him very well. Sometime, when they used to be late in the evening while playing, Vishal used to drop her home before returning his home.

Once Namita had to accomplish very ambitious work target in office due to which, she was under tremendous pressure and could not go to the club for over a week. Vishal tried calling her to know what happened but she did not even have time to speak to him. One day Vishal came to Namita’s office and met her. She explained him her problem. “What a pitiable condition you have made of yourself, Namita,” said Vishal, “come out with me, let’s have tea together.” Namita told him how she was struggling to complete the work but it was simply not getting completed. She was getting more and more tensed about it. Vishal said, “see Namita, you have been toiling for past more than a week. You have not even attended the badminton. Have you told your boss about your problem? Does he know where the matter is stuck?” “Yes Vishal, I told him everything, but he is not in a listening mode. He just wants me to complete the target within next 8 days or I will face the consequences.” “What will they be?” “He hasn’t told me about that. In fact he never threatens anyone, he always speaks positive language. When I asked about additional manpower, he expressed inability.” “What I think Namita, you should ask him about consequences and tell him clearly that you are prepared for them; may be then he will start thinking in a different direction.” “But Vishal, what if I am sacked?” “I don’t think they can sack you. Considering your experience, knowledge and sincerity, they will not like to lose a good employee like you. Otherwise how will you solve this deadlock?” Namita seemed to be convinced with this.

She openly told her boss that the target is not achievable with the given manpower within 8 days; either she should get more helping hands or her timeline should be relaxed. The boss was initially not willing to consider her request, but she convinced him about her difficult situation and he relaxed her timeline so that she could achieve it. This made her life much easier and she could accomplish her target.

Namita came to the badminton club today after a long time. She was looking very cheerful and happy. She did not look so happy for past many days, perhaps many years; as if it came out from deep inside herself. She met Vishal and gave him sweets. “Just because of you Vishal, I got the way to complete my target. The whole office is praising me for achieving the goal. Assured party to you now, whenever and wherever you say.” “Namita, you did not look so happy ever before, and never so beautiful. I want to say something to you now,” Vishal took a pause here and looked at her. She was also staring at him. “I am in love with you. Will you marry me?” Namita’s eyes filled with tears. She said, “Sorry Vishal, I can’t. I can’t marry anyone. That’s not for me.” “Why not? Don’t you like me? Do you need time to think? Take your time Namita, I’ll wait for you. We know each other for quite some time and I think we can be very good life partners and when you say that’s not for you, I don’t understand what you are really trying to say.” “Don’t bother about my likings Vishal, let me be alone. Let us be very good friends, that’s enough for me.” “Look at your body language Namita. Every time you look at me, I see that love in your eyes. When you talk to me, I can feel the belongingness, care for me in your tone. It makes me mad, Namita; I dream of you. I love you; I love you Namita. Look into my eyes and say that you don’t love me.” Namita was trying to say something but was not able to express herself; finally she broke into tears and confessed her love for Vishal. Vishal took her in arms.

Namita returned home cheerful and energetic. Never in last so many years had her parents seen her so happy. When they asked her about what made her so happy, she just told them about her goal achievement in office.

Namita got her love, but deeply inside she felt uneasy. She wanted to tell Vishal about it but was not able to gather courage. Next couple of days, Vishal talked to her about his plans to make her parents meet his parents and move the matter of their wedding forward. But Namita was not responding enthusiastically. On the third day, Vishal asked her, “what happened Namita, are you not happy with this marriage? Tell me clearly if you don’t like me so that we can cancel this wedding. I have already told my parents about you and they are also eager to see you, but we can always have a relook.” “How do I tell you Vishal, the thing in my life that I will always want to forget --- I was raped eleven years ago.” “What are you talking?” “Yes, this is a truth. I was nineteen years old that time.”

“But who did it? How did it happen?” ----- “Tell me Namita, reply to my question” Vishal’s tone became authoritative. “I was a girl of nineteen years that time and had a lot of dreams about life as any young girl of that age would have. It was our college annual day which ended late night. I was returning home after it got over. It’s not the same home where we stay now. We were staying in Kalwa that time. Some of my classmates offered to accompany me till my home, but I, in an overconfident attitude, turned them down. Just half a kilometer away from home, there was a narrow lane I was passing through and an unfamiliar person, looking a bandit, caught me. I offered my belongings to him, but he didn’t want my belongings. He wanted my body. He did that and ran away.” “Did you not scream for help?” “He didn’t allow me doing that. He shut my mouth with a piece of cloth.” “Why did you hide this from me, Namita? Why didn’t you tell me about this that day itself? I have told my parents everything about you. Now what do I tell them?” “You think I have hidden this from you, Vishal!” said Namita, “it took me a week to gather courage and tell my parents about this. You can’t imagine what physical and mental agonies I had to go through. When I returned home with torn clothes that night, my parents asked me what had happened. I tried to cover up saying that some robbers tried to loot me, but I escaped narrowly. It’s only when I could not bear the mental stress of this and a wound in my internal body part became unbearable that I disclosed to them everything.”

“Oh my god! Was that wound very grave? How did you wait for a week?” “Yes, it was. A septic was developing there and doctor scolded us for not approaching him briskly. He had to do a minor surgery to remove my septic after which, I recovered slowly.”

“Did you register a complaint with police? Was that dacoit arrested?” “Initially we were hesitant to go to police, but one of our close acquaintances, also a social worker, insisted that the criminal should be brought to justice and we must look beyond our narrow family prestige so that such incidents are put to an end. We went to police but they didn’t arrest anyone. Later, we came to know that he was a notorious local bandit called Bunti, who was killed in police encounter about 6 months later.” “How did you know he was Bunti only?” “The news of his encounter was published in local newspapers. I could not forget his disgusting face and easily recognized his photo.”

“Did he shoot video or a still while raping you? Did you get pregnant?”

“This is why I didn’t want to get married… I didn’t want that past to be dug out again.” Vishal held Namita with her shoulders and said gently, “I understand Namita, what pains it must be causing you while discussing this with me; but believe me, I don’t want to hurt you. Really sorry for asking you about this.” “It’s okay Vishal,” said Namita, “to answer your question, I didn’t get pregnant; and what difference it makes whether he shot while raping me or not! It’s an eleven year old story and I am living a decent and respectable life now. But to answer you again, he did not do any sort of shooting”.

“….After that incident, I was so devastated from inside that I was afraid to go out alone even during day-time. I had to undergo psychiatric treatment for almost a year. I failed in annual exam that year and had to take a year drop. Slowly, I recovered from that shock with help of a few of my friends who supported me like heavens.” “Your parents also must have supported you…” said Vishal.” “Initially they gave me all sorts of support. Later, they started blaming me for my outwardly behavior, especially my mother. They would often blame the young generation for being over extrovert and mingling so freely with the other gender.”

“ That’s why I am saying … don’t marry me Vishal, don’t marry me. You will easily get a decent girl of your choice.” “Namita, give me some time to think. I will also need to discuss this with my parents.” “Alright Vishal; I don’t want to hide anything from anyone.”

Vishal discussed the matter with his parents and as expected, they opposed him firmly. They took the conversation to a totally different direction and started questioning Namita’s character only. Vishal was totally embarrassed with their approach and in an annoyed mindset, met Namita the next time.

Namita didn’t have much hopes from his parents and was almost prepared for a break-up with Vishal. They continued with the topic left halfway in their previous meeting, after Vishal had further additions from his parents. “Namita, don’t feel awkward about what I am asking you,” said Vishal, “but did you know that Bunti before?” “How would I know him Vishal? He was a bandit; we are ordinary middle class people.” “But still, he must be staying nearby you, by any chance if you got to know him before or both of you knew each other…” “I don’t understand Vishal what you are trying to say…” “See Namita, nineteen years is not a very matured age, you will agree. You wouldn’t be matured enough that time to understand who to make friendship with.” All this conversation was taking a very undesirable course. Namita exactly caught the point that Vishal was trying to make. “So are you trying to say Vishal, that I already knew that robber; not just that, he was a friend of mine?” “Don’t misunderstand Namita,” “No Vishal, I have understood you correctly. But tell me in one line what you want to say.” “See Namita, I am not saying this, but how do I convince my parents that it was actually a rape and nothing else?”

Namita became furious with this question. She said, “See Vishal, it’s you who proposed me. I never came running after you. Now when I told you honestly about the mishap in my life, you and your parents are pointing fingers at my character. What is the need to do all this? I have already told you, forget me; you will easily get a girl of your choice. Moreover, I will certainly not like to marry a man who is a puppet in the hands of his parents and doesn’t know to use his brain.” “Listen Namita, don’t jump to the conclusion that I am doubting ….” Before Vishal could complete his sentence, Namita walked out from there.

Vishal felt very guilty for hurting Namita. He never meant to do that. He tried calling Namita on her mobile several times to beg her pardon, but she used to cut his call every time she saw his number. She also didn’t respond to his text messages. He used to go to the badminton club regularly, hoping that Namita would turn up some day, but she wouldn’t come there also. He was feeling guilty and was missing Namita at the same time.

Namita was not just hurt with this mud-slinging by Vishal’s parents, but was more disgusted with the typical Indian hypocritical attitude shown by them that holds a woman responsible for any offense. She was upset with Vishal because he was also a passive supporter of his parents in this finger-pointing; deeply inside though, she loved him.

Namita’s parents didn’t understand sudden swings in her mood; a few days before she looked cheerful. Now suddenly she started looking gloomy. Her mother even asked her what had happened, but she didn’t tell her anything.

One of Vishal’s friends was living nearby where Namita used to live before. He confided him about the story and asked him to gather details about Namita, with the condition that this should remain a top secret. In a few days, the friend came back to Vishal with details which only confirmed that Namita used to be a down-to-earth girl in her college days, but became prey of a bandit’s lust.

After waiting for over a week for Namita to calm down, Vishal couldn’t withstand the stand-off any longer and finally went to Namita’s office. “Why have you come here Vishal? I don’t want to meet you anymore.” “How long will you keep punishing yourself Namita? I agree, I have made a mistake; I am sorry for that. My parents have spoken unfairly about you. I apologise on their behalf also. Tell me Namita, can you live without me? Then why are you breaking this off?”

The discussion started becoming more personal, so they proceeded to her office canteen where they could get more privacy. “There is no use you feeling sorry or apologizing on your parents’ behalf, Vishal,” said Namita, “can you guarantee that your parents will accept me?” “I’ll try again.” “There’s no use you trying; you have done that already and what was the result? They mud-slanged my character when there was no fault of mine. Not only that, you also joined them in mud-slinging.” “But Namita …” “And yes! If you or your parents have any doubts about my character, I can show you all the police records which have details of the complaint made. You can check if it was really an annual day of our college from college records. I can take you there. You can also see my medical reports that will show how serious was the wound inflicted on me in the rape, which was not possible if it was with my consent. I can show you details of my surgery and you will know that it was not an abortion.” “Calm down Namita, I am not doubting you for a minute.” “Then what was that you said the other day? Or were it your parents speaking from your mouth? Leave it Vishal; don’t worry about if I can live without you or not. I have learnt to live swallowing all grieves and burying my dreams in last eleven years.” Namita’s eyes were filled with tears. Vishal held her with shoulders, looked into her eyes and said, “Namita, you may be used to such inflictions and grieves, but I am not; even the thought of spending life without you horrifies me. I don’t know what will happen, whether you will marry me or not; but I am sure of one thing. If I don’t marry you, I will not marry anyone in my life, because no one else can take the place in my life which I feel, is yours.” Vishal got up from his seat and walked away. Namita looked at him stunningly.

Vishal was talking to his parents about Namita. “Mom, you just see her once, talk to her. You will like her. She is not the kind of girl that you are thinking. If you still don’t like her, you can always reject. What do you say Dad?” “See Vishal, she is not a vegetable in the market which we pick in hand, check closely and keep down if we dislike it.” Said Vishal’s mother. “See Mom, I wouldn’t have said this, but for your and Dad’s adamancy. What happened to her was an unfortunate accident which should not happen to anyone. She has clarified to me everything. Not just that, I have also got information about her from Pravin who stays nearby where she was staying before. I know her for last 8-9 months, know her office colleagues also. Everyone speaks respectfully about her. If she was that kind of a girl, then no one would have spoken decently about her.” “Wait, wait … what you said? You got her information from Pravin; which means he knows about her history. Someone else will know it from him. Do you expect us to allow you marry such a notorious girl? How do you know that it was an accident? You believe whatever she tells you, because you are mad in her love.” “That’s not the case Dad, listen to me, Pravin is very responsible and will not tell anyone – ANYONE – about this. I have asked him to keep it a secret and I trust him fully. As about Namita, she has all the police records by which we can know the reality. And how can you conclude yourself without seeing her first?” “Alright; if you insist so much, bring her home this Sunday. Ask her parents also to come.” Said Vishal’s mother.

As decided, Namita came Vishal’s house with her parents. Her mother was very excited because her desire of Namita getting married was finally about to bear a fruit. As Namita and her parents were seated and after primary introduction, Vishal’s mother spoke, “So Mr. Pradhan, you made an excellent plan to trap my son and marry him to your tainted daughter.” Everyone felt awkward with this remark. Vishal said, “what are you talking Mom! Why this topic now?” “She is saying nothing wrong, Vishal” said his father, “from the beginning, we were opposed to you marrying this girl. She may be good looking, which is of no concern to us. What matters the most is her behavior and character, which she doesn’t have.” There was an immediate frown on the face of Namita’s mother. Her father was also stunned with this unexpected course of the conversation. The mud-slinging just continued and they had definitely not come Vishal’s house to hear this.

“You are mistaking Mr. Ganpule” said Namita’s father, “before speaking unkind words about my daughter, please understand the reality. What had happened to her was an unfortunate incident. She was not at fault. Another thing, you should appreciate our candidness in telling you upfront about this.” “Alright, we appreciate your openness, but don’t want our son to marry your daughter. He will get any girl with a good character.”

Namita got furious with this and said, “Excuse me, but what do you mean by character? Do you yourself understand its meaning? A crime happens with a woman and yet, she is held responsible for it; as if men are free to do anything they want and nobody questions them. Do men have characters? Have you ever asked your son if he is still a bachelor or has spoiled any girl? No, because it doesn’t make any difference if a man does it. We females cannot remain at home day and night. There are occasions when we have to go out and as a teenager, I might have made a mistake of not taking proper care. But you can’t keep questioning my character for that. You also have sisters, aunts and nieces. God forbid, but if it happens with anyone in your family, what will you do? Will you boycott her from your life? Will you call her a characterless slut? The atmosphere outside is very contaminated. When hundreds of amorous men look at women with lustful eyes, one of them dares to violate them and cowards around there do not intervene to prevent him. After everything is over, the same cowards start blaming the woman’s character. Before blaming someone’s character, try to remember if you have never looked at any woman with lustful eyes. If you did, then you don’t have any right to talk about character because at least one rapist is born out of hundred such lustful men.” Vishal’s parents were taken aback with this attack by Namita. They didn’t expect her to answer them back.

“Do you think our opinion will change after your arrogantly talking to us? On the contrary, it has become firmer about you. You cannot marry Vishal, that’s final.” Said Vishal’s mother. “I am not arrogant basically. What I expected today was an eagerness to know what had happened to me and deliberations as to how women should behave in today’s world. Instead of that, you have decided yourself that I have a bad character and stopped any further talks. You said that I trapped Vishal. Why do I need to do that? I am well learned, self reliant and having a decent livelihood. I command very good respect in my office. It’s Vishal who had proposed me for marriage, I did not ask him for it. Not just that, I have said ‘no’ to him not once or twice, but three times. Still he wants to marry me; why? Because he knows, I actually love him and it’s only he who can make me happy.” Then she turned to Vishal and said, “Leave it Vishal, all dreams do not get fulfilled in life. You can marry any other girl. I won’t mind.”

Namita and her parents returned home. Her mother was very disheartened. “What was the need to tell Vishal about your rape incident? How would they have come to know?” she said. “Don’t talk foolishly Vandana” said Namita’s father, “later, after a few years if they had known this, the matter could have gone up to divorce. It’s always better to make these things clear at the beginning even if it causes the marriage to break off.”

After Namita and her parents went, Vishal couldn’t help but outburst before his parents. “So this was your plan to invite them home and insult so that they never turn up again.” “Understand Vishal, all we did today was to save you from that girl and for your welfare.” Said his father. “You have taken enough care of my welfare. Thanks for that. I don’t need any more care from you. And for god’s sake, don’t take responsibility to protect me from anyone. You can’t protect yourselves from your ill health; focus on that. You don’t understand whether the main door is properly locked at night despite looking at it ten times, you keep staring at the gas cylinder for ten minutes to confirm that it is closed, then how did you conclude about Namita’s character without even knowing the fact? And you, Mom, what greatness have you shown in life? Given birth to a son and a daughter, got the daughter married and are bringing hurdles in your son’s marriage now. I tell you, book an airline ticket of a domestic flight; you will not be able to do it in whole of your life. You don’t even know how to switch on a computer. Then on what basis are you showing so much insolence? Shame that I am born to parents like you! Instead, I had better born to some average middle class parents who better understand problems of the new generation and support them.” Both, Vishal’s father and mother felt sad with what he said. His father said, “but Vishal, what will we tell others if they come to know about her?” “How are others going to know about her Dad, unless you tell them? Did I or you know anything before Namita told this to me? And I am damn sure that Pravin will not tell this to anyone. I trust him more than you” replied Vishal. His father asked his mother to discuss this with their daughter – Vishal’s sister.

Vishal’s sister came to meet him and tried to brain-wash him to change his decision, but Vishal was firm. He got infuriated with his parents’ tactics to change his decision and said to them, “you brought me up and made me self reliant, but didn’t trust me. Don’t you have even the slightest feeling that my choice can’t be wrong? But I have full confidence in my choice. Whether you like it or not, my and Namita’s happiness is in our being together and don’t try to spoil it. If you are still adamant with your stand to oppose I marrying her, I will leave this house and live separately with her after marriage. I don’t even need your blessings because you have lost that respect in my mind; and yes, never ever will I see your faces again.” This created a deep impact on his parents’ minds and they finally got ready to meet Namita and her parents again.

Namita was reluctant to come Vishal’s home the next time, but Vishal’s father spoke to her father over phone and apologized for their behavior in the previous meeting. The next meeting took place without any issues and finally, Vishal and Namita got married to each other.